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For many women who have survived domestic violence or incarceration, the road to rebuilding their lives is filled with obstacles—some external, some internal. Among the most insidious of these challenges is impostor syndrome, the persistent feeling of self-doubt and unworthiness, despite evidence of success and growth.

Just yesterday, I received the news that I was selected as one of 125 women to be recognized as a Remarkable Woman. As humbled as I am, I don’t know how to express myself. I don’t feel like I deserve it. The same thing happens whenever I’m acknowledged for my work or even something I’ve done within my own family.

A former employee once told me that every move I make is calculated so I can be recognized and seen in the spotlight. That accusation cut deep—not because it was true, but because it came from someone who never really knew me. The truth is, I overcompensate with my career because I feel like a failure in all other aspects of my life. I suffer from body image issues. I’m a closet poet because I don’t think my poetry is good enough. And even though I own my past mistakes, I am still ashamed of them, which only makes my impostor syndrome worse.

This isn’t just my struggle. This is the reality for so many women who have survived trauma.

Why Impostor Syndrome Is More Common for Women Who Have Been Incarcerated or Survived Abuse

The weight of stigma makes it harder to believe in success. Women who have survived abusive relationships are often asked, “Why didn’t you just leave?” instead of being supported for their courage in escaping. Formerly incarcerated women are met with skepticism, even when they’ve worked tirelessly to rebuild their lives. The constant scrutiny can make it feel as if success is undeserved, even when it has been earned.

Trauma rewires the brain. When you’ve spent years being told you are worthless, incapable, or unlovable, those words don’t just disappear. They become a mental soundtrack that plays on repeat. Even when opportunities come, it can feel like a mistake or luck instead of the result of hard work.

Reentering society after incarceration or leaving an abusive relationship is overwhelming. Many women face barriers to employment, housing, and education. When they do succeed in breaking through these barriers, the persistent thought remains: “Am I really supposed to be here?”

The pressure to prove ourselves never seems to fade. Many survivors feel the need to constantly prove they have changed, that they are worthy of love and opportunity. Any setback, no matter how small, can feel like confirmation of the deepest fear—that they never deserved a second chance in the first place.

Surrounding yourself with support makes a difference. Connecting with other women who have had similar experiences fosters a sense of belonging. Mentorship, peer support groups, and communities that celebrate second chances help silence the voice of doubt.

Challenging negative thoughts is necessary. When impostor syndrome creeps in, question it. Keep a record of accomplishments, no matter how small, and remember that success is the result of resilience, not chance.

Embracing the past without letting it define the future is key. History may shape the journey, but it does not dictate the destination. Every step forward is proof that people are more than their worst moments.

Reclaiming the narrative takes power away from shame. Society may try to define people by their past, but stories can be rewritten. The journey isn’t a cautionary tale—it’s one of resilience and transformation.

Women who have survived domestic violence and incarceration have already overcome the unimaginable. If impostor syndrome whispers that they don’t belong in spaces of success, the response must be clear:

“I have survived worse. I have fought harder. I belong here. And I’m not leaving.”

I may struggle to believe it myself sometimes, but if I can’t fully believe it for myself yet, I’ll say it for the women who need to hear it. You are not an impostor—you are a survivor. And that is something no one can take away from you.