staceybooks

Family is supposed to be our safe place, the people who stand beside us through life’s hardest moments. But what happens when they become the ones who hold up a mirror reflecting only our past mistakes?

Coming home from incarceration is more than just a physical return—it’s an emotional battlefield. You walk through the doors hoping to find love and support, but instead, you’re met with judgment, whispers, and a silent wall of distrust. The ones you hurt may say they forgive you, but their eyes still hold a hesitation that cuts deeper than any sentence ever could.

The Heavy Weight of Judgment

No matter how much time has passed, people love to remind you of who you used to be. It doesn’t matter if you’ve worked tirelessly to rebuild your life, if you’ve changed your habits, or if you’re doing everything in your power to be better—some will only see the version of you that made mistakes. They hold onto that image like a shield, afraid to believe in your growth because trusting you again means they have to be vulnerable too.

And that’s the hardest part—realizing that while you’ve been waiting for acceptance, they’ve been waiting for proof that you won’t fail them again.

The Pain of Dislike

There’s a unique pain in knowing that your own family doesn’t like you. Not because of who you are now, but because of who you were. Maybe it’s shame, maybe it’s their own fears, or maybe they’ve decided that redemption isn’t something you deserve. It can feel suffocating, like no matter what you do, you will never be good enough for them again.

And yet, you keep showing up. You smile, you try to make amends, you go out of your way to prove that you are different. But deep down, you wonder if there will ever come a day when they see you for who you are now, not who you used to be.

The Lack of Trust

Even if they love you, trust is fragile. It’s the hardest thing to earn back and the easiest thing to lose again. Every action is analyzed, every word questioned. A simple mistake—something that would be forgiven in anyone else—is proof to them that you haven’t really changed.

You start to carry that weight with you, doubting yourself at every turn. You wonder if you really are different, or if you’re just fooling yourself into believing you deserve another chance.

The One Who Hurts the Most

Everyone talks about how hard it is for the family. How they had to endure the pain of your choices. How they had to learn to live without you, to adapt, to move on. But no one talks about the person who has to wake up every day trying to prove they aren’t the same.

No one talks about the nights spent staring at the ceiling, wondering if you’ll ever be more than your past. No one talks about the exhaustion of constantly trying to show you’re worthy of love again. No one talks about the deep, aching loneliness that comes from being surrounded by people who still don’t see you.

Because in the end, the person who carries the heaviest burden isn’t the one who stayed behind—it’s the one who came back.

Choosing to Keep Going

So what do you do when the people you love the most refuse to let go of who you were?

You keep going.

Not for them, but for you.

You stop waiting for their approval, and you start building your life anyway. You find the people who see you for who you are now, not who you were. You give yourself the grace they won’t. And you remind yourself every single day that redemption isn’t about proving anything to anyone—it’s about becoming the person you always knew you could be.

And if they never see it?

That’s on them.