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So I laid down at 9:45 with every intention of being one of those people who says, “I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep.” Cute. It’s now 11:13, and not only am I wide awake, but I’ve mentally redecorated the house, planned five new careers, and emotionally committed to a dog I saw on Instagram.

It’s raining. There’s lightning. Nature is over here doing a dramatic sound and light show like it’s auditioning for Broadway. Perfect ambiance for sleep, right? Wrong. It’s just setting the mood for my brain to start its nightly chaos.

And not to mention—my husband has a lot to say. Oh, now he wants to chat. Now, when I’m in full overthinking mode and the sky is throwing a tantrum, now he’s got thoughts to share. And of course, they’re the kind of thoughts that need follow-ups, analysis, and probably a TED Talk of their own.

Then somehow, somewhere between my fifth flip of the pillow and trying to find a “cool spot” that doesn’t exist, my brain decides it’s the perfect time to deep-dive into the psychology of serial killers. Let’s go ahead and recap the latest Jeffrey Dahmer documentary, shall we? How exactly did he become a serial killer? Can I figure out his why? Were there signs? Who outdid him? Who was worse? Is this what I need to Google at midnight?

I didn’t ask for this. I just wanted a good night’s sleep. But here I am: analyzing lightning patterns, decoding Dahmer, responding to my husband’s random monologue, and wondering if melatonin is just a placebo wrapped in a gummy bear.

Anyway. If your brain is peacefully quiet tonight, please send thoughts and prayers. And maybe a nap.