staceybooks

There’s a version of this blog I could write that sounds strong, confident, and healed…but that wouldn’t be honest. The truth is, some days I struggle to love the person in the mirror.

We hear a lot about “self-love” these days. It’s in books, podcasts, sermons, and social media quotes with pretty fonts and pastel backgrounds. “Love yourself first.” “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” “You are enough.” All true. All powerful. But also…sometimes painfully hard to believe.

Loving yourself isn’t just about bubble baths or buying something nice for yourself. It’s not always as simple as a quiet moment or a deep breath. For some of us, loving ourselves feels like peeling back years of shame, doubt, guilt, trauma, or simply unmet expectations.

Some of us have made choices we’re not proud of.

Some of us have been through things that left us shattered.

Some of us wake up every day carrying the weight of the past…of who we were, what we lost, or who we let down.

And even though we’re still here, still trying, still growing…it feels like not enough. Like maybe everyone else has the blueprint for self-worth, and we just missed that part of the manual.

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

I’ve stood in the mirror and picked myself apart, not just for the stretch marks or the tired eyes, but for the things no one else can see: the regrets, the invisible scars, the words I wish I could take back, the moments I wish I could redo. And sometimes, when I’m quiet enough, I hear that whisper that says, “You’ll never be enough.”

But here’s what I’ve learned…and what I’m still learning: That whisper is a liar.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean pretending your past didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean denying your flaws or forcing yourself to be okay when you’re not. It means showing up, again and again, for yourself. It means choosing to be kind to yourself, even when you don’t feel like you deserve it. It means forgiving yourself when you’d rather keep punishing yourself.

Some days, it means starting over…again.

So if you’re struggling to love yourself, start small. Speak one kind word over yourself today. Give yourself credit for something tiny but hard. Let grace meet you right where you are.

The world may not always be gentle. But you can be.

And maybe, just maybe, the person in the mirror is worth loving…not despite the scars, but because of them.

You’re still becoming. And that, my friend, is something worth loving.

– Stacey Books