staceybooks

We don’t talk about it enough: adult bullying is real. And it’s often more dangerous than the kind we survived as kids, because it’s dressed in suits, masked by professionalism, and justified by “personality differences” or “workplace dynamics.”

But let me say this plainly: gossip, microaggressions, passive aggression, exclusion, false narratives, that’s bullying.

And I know it well. Personally. Professionally. Publicly.

I can’t tell you how popular I’ve been, and not in the flattering sense. I’ve had people create entire versions of me in their heads and present them as truth. I’ve been called “too much.” I’ve been labeled “the bulldozer.” I’ve heard I only care about myself, while working 60+ hour weeks to build something that lifts others up.

And the irony? I’ve spent more time trying to make people feel seen, valued, and whole than I’ve ever spent defending myself.

Childhood Bullying Was Just the Training Ground

But what they don’t know is: I’ve been here before.

The bullying I faced as a child and teenager, the whispers, the exclusion, the humiliation…taught me how to stand in rooms that didn’t want me there. It trained me to hold my head up when others tried to hold me back. It made me strong, not bitter.

To my former classmates: thank you. You didn’t realize it at the time, but you gave me the thick skin I’d need to face boardrooms, betrayal, and backstabbing with grace and grit. That pain became preparation. And I’m still standing.

The Brain Remembers – And Healing Takes Work

Right now, I’m reading The Bullied Brain, and it’s wrecking me in the best way. It breaks down how bullying affects your brain over time, how it reshapes your self-worth, and how the fear it causes lives long after the attacks stop.

That book reminded me: just because you’re successful doesn’t mean you’ve healed. And just because you’re still pushing forward doesn’t mean the scars are gone.

But scars don’t mean weakness. They mean you lived.

I’ve Been Called a Bulldozer. So Be It.

Let me clear something up: being called “the bulldozer” doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Bulldozers get things done. They clear paths. They make room for something new. If that’s what leadership looks like to you, strong, unapologetic, focused, then I’ll take it. Gladly.

What I won’t take anymore? Bullying in the name of “feedback.” Gossip framed as “concern.” Sabotage passed off as “accountability.”

To those folks in my career who’ve spent more time talking about me than talking to me, I see you. And in the wise words of Ice Cube: check yourself before you wreck yourself. Because what you put out into the world has a way of circling back.

Final Word: You Are Not the Problem

This one’s for anyone exhausted from being misunderstood.

For the one who’s been labeled, discredited, or dismissed, not because of what you’ve done wrong, but because your strength exposes someone else’s insecurity.

You are not the dragon.

You are the warrior.

So speak up. Heal what’s been hidden. And stop shrinking to fit into spaces that can’t hold the full weight of your calling.

Because fear may be the dragon, but your voice, your story, and your strength?

That’s the fire it never saw coming.