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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and for me, it’s not just a campaign; it’s part of my story. I am a survivor.

For years, I lived in a world where fear felt normal and peace felt unreachable. I learned how to read moods, not because I wanted to, but because survival required it. Abuse doesn’t always start with bruises. It starts with control, with isolation, with subtle words that chip away at your confidence until you no longer recognize yourself. By the time the bruises come, you’ve already been broken in places no one can see.

What Domestic Violence Really Looks Like

Domestic violence is not just physical. It’s emotional, verbal, psychological, and financial. It can look like someone checking your phone, limiting your money, or convincing you that you’ll never make it without them. It can look like silence when you stop speaking up because it’s safer to stay quiet.

I’ve been there. I’ve felt trapped between love and fear, between what I wanted to believe and what I knew was true. But the hardest part wasn’t leaving; it was believing that I deserved better. Healing takes time. It’s not linear, and it’s not easy. But I am living proof that it’s possible.

When Children Are Victims Too

One of the hardest truths about domestic violence is that children are victims even when the abuse isn’t directed at them.

Children who grow up in violent homes learn to walk on eggshells long before they learn to tie their shoes. They become experts at reading tension, bracing for the next outburst, and trying to protect the parent who is being hurt. Even if they’re never physically touched, the emotional impact runs deep.

They hear the yelling, the slamming doors, the threats whispered in the dark. They see the fear in a parent’s eyes and absorb that fear as their own. It shapes how they see love, safety, and themselves. Many begin to believe that chaos is normal or that love means pain and control.

For some, the trauma shows up later in school, in relationships, or even in adulthood. It can cause anxiety, depression, anger, and a constant need to please others to stay safe. Without intervention, the cycle often continues, not because they want it to, but because it’s what they’ve learned.

Breaking that cycle means teaching children what safety feels like, showing them that love does not hurt, and giving them space to heal. Every child deserves a home where peace is possible.

Why Awareness Matters

Every time we talk about domestic violence, we make it harder for abusers to hide. We remind survivors that they’re not alone. We challenge the silence that keeps so many living in fear.

Awareness matters because abuse thrives in the dark. When we share our stories, we bring light to that darkness, and light has a way of breaking through.

It also matters because domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. It affects women, men, children, and families of every background. It hides behind closed doors, in quiet neighborhoods, in professional careers, and even in churches. It’s not “someone else’s problem.” It’s a community problem, and it requires a community solution.

What We Can Do

Listen and believe survivors. Don’t ask why they stayed; ask how you can help. Share resources. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Share it. Save it. Use it. Speak up. Silence protects abusers, not survivors. Support programs that provide safe housing, counseling, legal help, and job training for survivors. Teach the next generation what healthy relationships look like. Prevention begins with education.

My Message to Survivors

If you’re reading this and living in silence, please know this: you are not crazy, you are not weak, and you are not alone. You are stronger than you realize, and you deserve to live without fear. The first step may feel impossible, but it’s worth it. You can rebuild your life. You can heal. You can become whole again.

I did.