staceybooks

It’s 4:00 AM.

Which leads me to my first question…

Is 4 AM considered early morning or late night?

Because technically it’s morning. The clock says so.

But the sky is still black, the birds aren’t even awake yet, and the rest of the world is still asleep. So it feels like late night that accidentally spilled over into the next day.

There has to be a moment where the universe flips a switch.

3:59 AM – Late night.

4:00 AM – Congratulations, you’re now a morning person.

But no one actually feels like a morning person at 4 AM unless they’re a farmer, a baker, or someone with insomnia and an overactive brain.

Which brings me to the next question my brain decided we needed to solve before sunrise…

Why Do Country Singers Use Their Real Names?

Think about it.

Most country stars sound like people you might meet at the grocery store.

Alan Jackson.

Garth Brooks.

Morgan Wallen.

Those are real-people names.

But then you cross over into rock or rap and suddenly everyone sounds like a comic book character.

50 Cent.

Biggie Smalls.

Kid Rock.

Slash.

Eminem.

Country music says:

“Hi, I’m Alan.”

Rock and rap say:

“I am Slash, Destroyer of Guitar Strings.”

Maybe it’s branding. Maybe it’s personality. Or maybe country singers just know their mom would be disappointed if they changed the name she gave them.

The Even Number Situation

Now here’s something that truly bothers people like me who prefer even numbers.

I don’t know why. But the TV volume must be even.

The AC must be on an even number.

The car temperature must be even.

I’m not saying odd numbers are wrong…

…but they feel wrong.

Which leads to the biggest mystery of all:

Why are speed limits based on fives?

55

65

75

Why not 56 or 66 so they’re actually even?

And yes, I realize 60 is even. That one makes sense. But 65? That’s chaos.

If someone ever changes a speed limit sign from 65 to 66, people like me will finally know peace.

Android vs iPhone Personalities

Then there’s the Android vs iPhone debate.

At this point I’m convinced the phones reflect the personalities of their owners.

Android users:

“Look at all these customization options.”

iPhone users:

“It just works.”

Android users are the people who like to build things, tweak things, and change every setting possible.

iPhone users are the people who want to press a button and move on with their day.

Same destination. Completely different personalities.

Kindergarten Makes No Sense

Now let’s talk about school.

Kids go to kindergarten, and then the next year they go to first grade.

But kindergarten is the first year they attend school, right?

So shouldn’t kindergarten actually be first grade?

Or at least zero grade?

Instead we decided the system should go:

Kindergarten

First grade

Second grade

Which basically means kindergarten is the mysterious pre-level before the real game starts.

The English Language Is Just Messing With Us

And finally… the English language.

Someone explain this.

Two

Too

To

There

Their

They’re

Hair

Hare

Same sound. Completely different meanings.

So we’re supposed to read a sentence and somehow know which one the person meant?

At some point someone just decided,

“You know what would be fun? Let’s make words that sound exactly the same but mean totally different things.”

And everyone else said,

“Yeah… let’s do that.”

The Conclusion of a 4 AM Brain

These are the kinds of thoughts that show up when the world is quiet and the brain decides it’s time to analyze absolutely everything.

Is it late night or early morning?

Why are speed limits based on fives?

Why is kindergarten not first grade?

Why does English have trust issues with spelling?

I’m not saying I have the answers.

I’m just saying if you’re awake at 4 AM, you start noticing things that make absolutely no sense.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try to go back to sleep…

Right after I make sure the thermostat is set to an even number. 😅